Gift giving can be a beautiful thing. However, one of the number one struggles I hear from my home organizing clients is that they feel pressure to accept things that they do not want. It can be challenging to set a standard of voicing your opinion when that has never been the norm.
I like to think of gift giving as a language. We do not all speak the same language. Even though sometimes we make the assumption that we do.
Learning to share your wants and needs with others takes time and practice. Here are 5 ways to support you in setting and holding boundaries this holiday season.
1. Ask for what you DO want
Tell those close to you what you desire this holiday season. Whether it is a trip to the nail salon or a zoo membership for your kiddos, let them know your preference.
2. Validate their feelings
Share that you understand this is how they show love. You recognize they are thinking of you when they buy these gifts, and you appreciate that. If possible, do not use the word but. When we use this word, it tends to invalidate what comes before. (I am so grateful but…)
3. State your feelings and reasoning from YOUR perspective only
Explain how you are feeling and the lifestyle choices you are adopting. For example, I am being intentional about what I keep in my home because it helps me feel calm.
4. Stay firm
If they try to push you to accept something any way, stay firm in your decision. Politely explain what you have already shared in different words. This will reinforce your boundaries in a healthy way.
5. Accept that they might not understand
Setting boundaries could be new to you and your loved ones. Stating what you need or want is not wrong if you do it in a kind way. It can take time to develop confidence in communicating what you need and being okay even if people get upset.